What does play have to do with leadership?
This summer, as I have taken time to step back, tend more to my inner work, and reflect on my leadership journey, I've realized that “play” is a one of the core tools I believe fosters discovery and connection, and can deepen our leadership practice. In the last organization I founded, after serendipitously purchasing a stuffed animal sloth that unexpectedly evoked stories, tears, and hugs from adults of all backgrounds, I brought “Luluboo” the sloth to work and they (yes, Luluboo is gender nonconforming) appeared in HR videos, took part in meetings, and helped us stay in touch with survivors. As such, I became curious about the role of play in leadership as we collectively move towards something bigger than ourselves.
Last month, I read the book Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, by Stuart Brown. Brown has interviewed thousands of people on how play shows up in their lives. His work found that the work we find most fulfilling as adults often deeply related to the ways we played as children. He also found that play allows us to build trust with one another, find fulfillment, develop our brains, and deepen our creativity. He suggests that play enables people to become more emotionally attuned to each other’s needs and to step back and see problems from new light, both of which are critical aspects to good facilitation and leadership.
His work talks about “play-signaling,” or giving a signal that someone is seeking play, not aggression, and how this can deflect aggressive energy. He gives examples to demonstrate this from the animal world, such as a bear that aggressively approached a dog. The dog began to pounce and wag its tail and soon the bear and dog were playing together. This can happen amongst humans as well. By “play-signaling,” we can shift the energy in a room, and even overturn a power differential. He suggests that play is a basic biological drive that is key to our health and allows us to be open to new possibilities.
As a woman leader, my mentors, bosses, funders, and board members have often given me advice about ways I can become a more “effective” as a leader. Much of this has fallen into patriarchal norms of leadership: cut my hair, wear darker colors and boxier clothing, lower my voice, square my shoulders, limit my hand gestures, be less friendly and smile less, and be more serious and be less playful. I’ve become acutely aware of my body – not to be mindful and appreciative but to debate whether to harness and constrain my natural ways of being myself: to become more serious; to smile less; and, even to play less. What if there was more space for leaders who smiled more, took up more space, physically moved more, and were - despite their age - more playful?
I will continue to dig in, but am more convinced now than before that play is not only individually fun, healthy, and good for the brain, but is also good for human connection, collective creativity, and overall morale: all of which are key for effective leadership.
